Accepting Acceptance
Well, we had a spectactular weekend in Cambridge for our little Buddhist retreat. jim and I took in both the Friday evening "executive summary" and the Saturday "apparently you don't have a life" all-day session. We had a great time, and couldn't have asked for better weather. I also want to thank jim's friend, Patty, who let me crash at her place in Lexington to save some driving time, as well as have some nice conversation.
And the retreat was great, and I'll highly recommend it to any who want to find out more about Buddhism from a very down-to-earth teacher, Lama Surya Das. Check it out in my links 'Buddhism for the West of us'. [And you can blame me for the pun.]
So what did I learn? Well, actually, quite a lot, so let me see if I can express one aspect of it. For those (few) of you that have followed this Seekers list for quite some time, you may recall some discussion a while back about what I saw as a possible contradiction in Buddhism: a desire to "change the world" (aka reduce suffering) and a recognition that "everything is perfect just as it is". So I asked about this. And the answer was (in retrospect) pretty obvious. For those that see the world in black and white, seek out the middle way (which is what Buddha taught). These apparent contradictions are simply a reflection of a dualistic world view. Basically, having some "acceptance" (of the world, of yourself) goes a long way toward breaking down the apparent dichotomy.
Segue to a bucolic Lexington street, the next morning, where I was taking an early walk. I was watching a group of squirrels playing in the trees. My wife and I had previously noted that there are very few acorns this year (especially compared to the bumper crop last year), so I was thinking about how "bad" that would be for the squirrels. Then I got it. That's not "bad." That is just the way it is. Which by the way is the key to Buddhism -- recognizing the world as it really is, and not getting caught up in the duality and relativism of good and bad.
So by accepting the world (or a person, or yourself) as it is, you can approach it with detachment from the outcome, and still be the best person you know how to be (most compassionate, most patient, most forgiving, most generous, most wise, you get the idea). Surely that will contribute to less suffering (even if only in yourself). And perhaps more subtley, you can begin to accept that which many see as "bad", and on a good day, like we had on Saturday, you might even begin to see its beauty.
Segue to apparently totally unrealated topic, but hold on for just another minute.
I'm reminded of a movie I saw not long ago: American Beauty. Have you seen it? It is a remarkable film (once you get past the dysfunctional families). I was particularly taken by the character Ricky Fitts, the neighbor 'psychopath' that videotapes everything. Does anyone remember the scene (or did I just make this up) where he was describing seeing a homeless woman that had frozen to death the night before, and he couldn't stop looking because it was so ... what? Disgusting? Depressing? Sad? Unfair? No, he couldn't stop looking becuase it was so ... Beautiful. A related specific quote (and clip) can be seen here: http://www.destinationhollywood.com/movies/americanbeauty/quickclip_13.shtmlRicky Fitts (Wes Bentley): "Sometimes there's so much ... beauty ... in the world ... I feel like I can't take it."
And of course, if you saw the movie you remember the closing voice over by the recently murdered Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey):
"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me…but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. ... You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure … But don’t worry … you will someday."
It's an interesting experience, which really came true for me on Saturday ... to see everything in the world, and see nothing but beauty. That's worth seeking. That's the power of acceptance.
S-
posted by Steven Crisp at 10:14 AM
4 Comments:
Steven,
Your sharing is beautiful. Keep opening yourself to the beauty of what is. Keep following that stream of appreciation and gratitude within. There are skies upon skies waiting for you.
Aki
"Ripples in still water, when there is no pebble tossed nor wind is blowing. You can choose to lead or follow, but if you fall, you fall alone. If you stand, then who is to guide you? If I knew the way, I would take you home" Grateful Dead.
I think you are on to something Steve
Jeff
You asked Sura Das about the problem of evil--- what we should do about suffering vs. Buddhist detachment. He said "A little acceptance goes a long way." You should accept a little more? Didn't seem responsive somehow.
jim Das would say "Total acceptance is the only way." Remember the diagram--- good and evil are concilliated at a higher level--- the apex of the triangle, the base of which is the good-evil axis. Without the apex the whole system is unsable--- good-evil flips to a vertical line with good (God) at the top and the devil (evil) at the bottom--- the usual misconceptions result.
Your question really has to do with how or why we can have an affective (emotional) preference for good while respecting the balance of the Tao--- the equality of yin and yang, of good and evil.
Think of throwing a ball--- the throwing force and the inertial force balance each other from the very first moment--- but we think of throwing as active and inertia as passive and therefore can have a preferrence even though the forces are equal. We think of the thrower as the creator of inertia just as we think of God as the creator of evil.
So don't be embarassed to have a preference for good. The Tao is still balanced.
I went throughh the steps to create a blog, but wanted to post to yours. I'll work on it some more. Meanwhile, best wishes, and thanks again for the Dzogchen meeting and the book---- I read much of it on the trip and will comment another time.
jim Das
jim,
Appreciate the thoughts. Ya know, I think I got Surya Das’ point about acceptance. Also check out my new entry on the “Just Un-do It” blog (remember we discussed). Ken Wilbur did a good job explaining what has been rattling around my head as still unformed concepts. We need to “accept” this world, just at the same time we strive to transcend this illusion. Even if enlightened, we still live in this world, and this pain and suffering is “real” and cannot be white washed. It can however be accepted (because it just “is”), and we can do our small part to help alleviate some of it either by being socially responsible (translational as Wilbur would say), or by helping others transcend the illusion (transformational in his terms). Fighting any harder just reinforces the self and our separation from this “other” desperation.
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